She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
