Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
