Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
