Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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