never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
