Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
3 2 1 whiskey
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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