You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
