Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
