bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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