Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
