Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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