Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
