Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
