At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
