best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
