But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
