you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Randomize
