too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize