saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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