That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize