Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this just has baby written all over it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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