Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
