Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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