Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize