Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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