Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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