I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Your penis caused this!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
