I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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