bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
