i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
