i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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