people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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