You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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