Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
