My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
