Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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