We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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