You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
