Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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