oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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