Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
