She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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