His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
