So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
