i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize