I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
