Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
whose parrot is this?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize