she was so not down for the gang bang
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The uberlube is also flammable
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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