you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
