I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
