I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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