How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize