you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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