This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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