it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I could fuck to npr.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
