He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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