3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just google imaged poop.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
