Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
