I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
